Anonymous
How does navigate a toxic environment in family and doesn’t have the ability to move out at the moment?
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It can often be the case that we are in a situation that we cannot exit from at the moment, especially for children, when it comes to family dynamics and yet these are profundly affecting our wellbeing and ability to perform our day to day duties effectively. Chronic fatigue is also another consequence moreso if one is a caregiver. In such a situation, it is important to map out two things: what is out of your control and what is within your control. The things that are out of your control are things you may consider spending less time on trying to influence seeing that the efforts may be in vain and add to your fatigue. Whilst the things in your control may seem less impactful, once you form a routine around them, they will offer some reprieve which cumulatively will benefit your wellbeing. This could be - spending more time outside the home in spaces where you feel more at ease which could include walks, volunteering and community service, group activities such as walking groups, youth groups if you are a youth, mentorship groups if you are older and able to mentor - whenever we find meaning to other things we can do, it does help. The second part of this is creating a tentative exit plan, even if it is aspirational or circumstances are not as conducive, it gives you something to work toward and to understand what else you need to do or engage in to make it more possible i.e. mapping out your options. In this case speak to those who can offer you some advise or support. Lastly, perhaps an exit is possible but it involves big sacrifices such as a complete shift in lifestyle, if say, the toxic home provided good shelter and food albeit no peace - this alludes to what one is willing to sacrifice. There is a rising trend of people sharing accommodation and therefore sharing the associated costs so as to afford a more decent living. This could also be sacrificing enstrangement with some family members, which is never an easy decision to make. Should there be direct harm to you then it may be important to report this to the relevant authorities and reach out to available support, such as in the case of violence or abuse - also a frightening but brave step to take - as one is already unsafe and feeling unsafe. I hope some of these support your thinking around it.